May 18, 2020
The big day had arrived. It was my oldest daughter’s first day of preschool. In previous years she had stayed with in-home sitters. This was one of those rare years that I got to stay home from teaching and just be a mom. The preschool at our church was a two day per week program that we hoped would prepare Jodi for “real school “ the following year. The biggest hurdle was going to be “the drop off”. When it comes to being taken and left somewhere unfamiliar every kid’s reaction is different. I knew what was coming and I was not looking forward to it. So I formed a plan or, you might say, I came up with a bribe. This is one of a parent’s greatest tools when trying to convince a child to do something they don’t want to do, without a big fuss. But it only works if the desire for the reward outweighs the fear or dislike of the situation. In other words, it’s got to be good. Candy was not going to do the trick. Promising a trip to the movies or the zoo was not duplicatable each day. I needed something cheap and easy. Luckily, our cat Princess delivered. Literally. She had several kittens during the summer and we let the girls keep two of them. And Jodi LOVED that kitten. Tuffy and her sister Bootsy spent half the summer either cruising around the house in Barbie’s pink Jeep or being held by their little girl. These kittens were as tame as stuffed animals. The bribe: “If you will go to school and get out of the car without crying when the nice ladies open the door in the drop off line, Tuffy can ride to school with us. AND I’ll bring her with me when I come to pick you up.” Challenge accepted! She took the deal! The sweet Christian ladies who got Jodi out of the car looked at me like I was crazy the first day we pulled up with a kitten in the car but they didn’t let me see them roll their eyes. And the plan worked like a charm... for about 4 drop offs. On the 5th day, just as we entered the car line, Tuffy suddenly had need of a litter box. All we had was the plain box she was riding in on the seat next to Jodi. At least she was in a box. (I wasn’t a complete idiot!) I almost exited the car line. The unmistakable odor was filling the car. When they opened the door those sweet ladies were in for a surprise. As we pulled to the front spot, I held my breath, not in fear but because, well, cat poop. Fortunately, Jodi wasn’t freaking out. Bless their hearts, the ladies barely missed a beat as they opened the car door and released the toxic fumes. “Good morni__”, came their abbreviated greeting as they took my daughter out of the car and quickly shut the door. Needless to say, that was Tuffy’s last day of being used as a bribe. At that point the reward, for me, did not outweigh the dreaded consequence. And apparently after five drop offs Jodi was ok going to school without the kitten. Mission accomplished! When promising things to our kids, we have to be careful. Is it something that we can and will absolutely deliver? Can we keep on supplying the promised reward? I’ve learned that how you phrase or (mis)phrase your word of honor can come back and bite you if you’re little smarty pants finds a loophole. (“You said we could stay up as late as WE wanted!”). But with God and His promises there are no loopholes. Among God's promises are: to strengthen us, protect us, give us peace, hope, joy and eternal life. He cares for us and that will never change. We can count on His promises. Psalm 37:4 says: “Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” The most important promise from God is in John 3:16:”For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” That’s a powerful promise! Smile and be joyful!
The big day had arrived. It was my oldest daughter’s first day of preschool. In previous years she had stayed with in-home sitters. This was one of those rare years that I got to stay home from teaching and just be a mom. The preschool at our church was a two day per week program that we hoped would prepare Jodi for “real school “ the following year. The biggest hurdle was going to be “the drop off”. When it comes to being taken and left somewhere unfamiliar every kid’s reaction is different. I knew what was coming and I was not looking forward to it. So I formed a plan or, you might say, I came up with a bribe. This is one of a parent’s greatest tools when trying to convince a child to do something they don’t want to do, without a big fuss. But it only works if the desire for the reward outweighs the fear or dislike of the situation. In other words, it’s got to be good. Candy was not going to do the trick. Promising a trip to the movies or the zoo was not duplicatable each day. I needed something cheap and easy. Luckily, our cat Princess delivered. Literally. She had several kittens during the summer and we let the girls keep two of them. And Jodi LOVED that kitten. Tuffy and her sister Bootsy spent half the summer either cruising around the house in Barbie’s pink Jeep or being held by their little girl. These kittens were as tame as stuffed animals. The bribe: “If you will go to school and get out of the car without crying when the nice ladies open the door in the drop off line, Tuffy can ride to school with us. AND I’ll bring her with me when I come to pick you up.” Challenge accepted! She took the deal! The sweet Christian ladies who got Jodi out of the car looked at me like I was crazy the first day we pulled up with a kitten in the car but they didn’t let me see them roll their eyes. And the plan worked like a charm... for about 4 drop offs. On the 5th day, just as we entered the car line, Tuffy suddenly had need of a litter box. All we had was the plain box she was riding in on the seat next to Jodi. At least she was in a box. (I wasn’t a complete idiot!) I almost exited the car line. The unmistakable odor was filling the car. When they opened the door those sweet ladies were in for a surprise. As we pulled to the front spot, I held my breath, not in fear but because, well, cat poop. Fortunately, Jodi wasn’t freaking out. Bless their hearts, the ladies barely missed a beat as they opened the car door and released the toxic fumes. “Good morni__”, came their abbreviated greeting as they took my daughter out of the car and quickly shut the door. Needless to say, that was Tuffy’s last day of being used as a bribe. At that point the reward, for me, did not outweigh the dreaded consequence. And apparently after five drop offs Jodi was ok going to school without the kitten. Mission accomplished! When promising things to our kids, we have to be careful. Is it something that we can and will absolutely deliver? Can we keep on supplying the promised reward? I’ve learned that how you phrase or (mis)phrase your word of honor can come back and bite you if you’re little smarty pants finds a loophole. (“You said we could stay up as late as WE wanted!”). But with God and His promises there are no loopholes. Among God's promises are: to strengthen us, protect us, give us peace, hope, joy and eternal life. He cares for us and that will never change. We can count on His promises. Psalm 37:4 says: “Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” The most important promise from God is in John 3:16:”For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” That’s a powerful promise! Smile and be joyful!
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