May 20, 2020
When the girls were little and there was a squabble, after it wound down, I would turn them toward each other with one hand on each back and say, “Hug your sister!”. There would be some resistance as I pushed them together but when their eyes met a smile would start and a hug would follow. I saw a picture on Pinterest of two kids wearing one big white T-shirt together that said, “This is our makeup shirt”. They didn’t look too thrilled. My guess is their mom made them stay in it together until they made up. That’s creative parenting at its best. Let’s face it, apologies are hard. None of us like to admit when we’re wrong. I personally think that just saying “Sorry” is not an apology. We need to add the word “I’m” in front to make it a legit apology. Otherwise it’s a kind of “fill in the blank” incomplete sentence. In our head we could be saying “YOU’RE sorry!” or “THAT’S sorry!” or “YOU’LL BE sorry !” When we say, “I’M sorry”, we are out loud admitting we did something wrong (that’s what is hard about apologizing) and taking the blame. We are expressing regret. To really make amends, we should follow “I’m sorry.” with “Please forgive me.” Of course, when we apologize, we hope to hear the words “That’s ok, I forgive you!” or better yet, “I understand and I’m sorry, too!” What we do not want to hear is “Good! You should be!” or my personal least favorite response , “You’re fine.” (What does that even mean?) It is important to be a gracious forgiver and remember that the shoe could be on the other foot next time. How do we want others to respond when we apologize to them? Even though apologizing when we’ve wronged someone is hard, it has great rewards. It rewards the one whom we offended because they feel justified and cared for. It can be beneficial to others who were indirectly affected by the situation. (For example, children who hear their parents argue also need to hear them make up.) But the greatest benefit comes to the apologizer, who sincerely says “I’m sorry.” The old saying, “Confession is good for the soul,” is very true. It is very liberating to make amends. Having unexpressed regrets can eat away at our joy in life. It’s good to “get it off our chest”. God rejoices when we come to Him and ask him to forgive us. He knows what’s on our heart when we say, “Please forgive me!” and he never holds back his loving, compassionate forgiveness. 1 John 1:9 says this: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” And regarding forgiving one another these verses speak very plainly. Ephesians 4:32: “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” and Colossians 3:13: “Be gentle and ready to forgive; never hold grudges. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” Ask for forgiveness. Grant forgiveness. Smile and be joyful!
When the girls were little and there was a squabble, after it wound down, I would turn them toward each other with one hand on each back and say, “Hug your sister!”. There would be some resistance as I pushed them together but when their eyes met a smile would start and a hug would follow. I saw a picture on Pinterest of two kids wearing one big white T-shirt together that said, “This is our makeup shirt”. They didn’t look too thrilled. My guess is their mom made them stay in it together until they made up. That’s creative parenting at its best. Let’s face it, apologies are hard. None of us like to admit when we’re wrong. I personally think that just saying “Sorry” is not an apology. We need to add the word “I’m” in front to make it a legit apology. Otherwise it’s a kind of “fill in the blank” incomplete sentence. In our head we could be saying “YOU’RE sorry!” or “THAT’S sorry!” or “YOU’LL BE sorry !” When we say, “I’M sorry”, we are out loud admitting we did something wrong (that’s what is hard about apologizing) and taking the blame. We are expressing regret. To really make amends, we should follow “I’m sorry.” with “Please forgive me.” Of course, when we apologize, we hope to hear the words “That’s ok, I forgive you!” or better yet, “I understand and I’m sorry, too!” What we do not want to hear is “Good! You should be!” or my personal least favorite response , “You’re fine.” (What does that even mean?) It is important to be a gracious forgiver and remember that the shoe could be on the other foot next time. How do we want others to respond when we apologize to them? Even though apologizing when we’ve wronged someone is hard, it has great rewards. It rewards the one whom we offended because they feel justified and cared for. It can be beneficial to others who were indirectly affected by the situation. (For example, children who hear their parents argue also need to hear them make up.) But the greatest benefit comes to the apologizer, who sincerely says “I’m sorry.” The old saying, “Confession is good for the soul,” is very true. It is very liberating to make amends. Having unexpressed regrets can eat away at our joy in life. It’s good to “get it off our chest”. God rejoices when we come to Him and ask him to forgive us. He knows what’s on our heart when we say, “Please forgive me!” and he never holds back his loving, compassionate forgiveness. 1 John 1:9 says this: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” And regarding forgiving one another these verses speak very plainly. Ephesians 4:32: “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” and Colossians 3:13: “Be gentle and ready to forgive; never hold grudges. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” Ask for forgiveness. Grant forgiveness. Smile and be joyful!
Comments
Post a Comment